1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,748 LESLIE: Washington, D.C. Take a deep breath, Andy. 2 00:00:04,904 --> 00:00:06,042 (EXHALES) 3 00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,677 I mean, you can practically smell the bills becoming laws. 4 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,743 Yeah. 5 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:12,153 You can taste the sweet sugar of bureaucracy at work. 6 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,714 That building looks like a boob. 7 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:14,882 LESLIE: Yeah, well, it's not. 8 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:16,450 ANDY: Oh, yeah, I know. It's the White House. 9 00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:17,927 No. It's the Capitol. 10 00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:20,362 My amazing lover, Ben Wyatt, is here 11 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,728 working on a congressional campaign, 12 00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,859 and he took April with him as his intern. 13 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,870 I'm here to visit, but I'm also here to work. 14 00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:28,633 Because I have a very important meeting 15 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,606 where I am going to try to get federal funding 16 00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:32,643 so we can clean up the Pawnee River. 17 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,144 It's a bit of a fixer-upper. 18 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:38,671 Romantic reunions. Government meetings. Self-guided museum tours. 19 00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:41,617 I mean, am I living the dream? I don't know. 20 00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:43,517 Did I also just walk past a food truck 21 00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,180 and buy myself a waffle sundae? 22 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,315 Yes! 23 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:47,919 Now, take out your guidebook. 24 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:49,016 Oh, I didn't bring a guidebook. 25 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,390 Oh, I brought you one. You did? 26 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,622 Yeah. Thank you. 27 00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:52,754 Now, throw it away, 28 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,766 because Leslie Knope is your guidebook. I didn't... 29 00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:57,966 I didn't mean literally. I had some notes in it. 30 00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:00,368 Okay. Grab the book and let's hit the National Mall. 31 00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,930 There's a mall? That's awesome. I need to get some flip-flops. 32 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,230 Why are we having a conference room meeting? Leslie's gone. 33 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:29,233 Ron has taken initiative and he is leading the meeting. 34 00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:30,895 (ALL LAUGHING) 35 00:01:30,957 --> 00:01:32,095 He's not joking. 36 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,102 I wanted to let you all know that I will be throwing 37 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:38,540 the annual Parks Department Employee Appreciation barbecue. 38 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,544 You're going to throw the Leslie Knope 39 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,138 Employment Enjoyment SummerSlam Grill Jam Fun-splosion? 40 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:45,642 That's right. 41 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,742 You are going to oversee the Popsicle-eating contest, 42 00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:50,981 the slip-and-slide-a-thon, the watermelon carving, the gazpacho-off 43 00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:55,083 and star in a one-woman show about parks rules and regulations? 44 00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:56,320 Parks and Dolls! 45 00:01:56,382 --> 00:02:00,524 (SINGING) I got your park right here. Its name is Ramsett Park 46 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:04,034 ALL: And its gates are open from dawn till dark 47 00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:07,435 lam not doing any of that, which is the point. 48 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:10,168 Every summer, Leslie throws a barbecue 49 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,301 to thank the Parks and Maintenance staff. 50 00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,075 It's horrifying. 51 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,341 Barbecues should be about one thing. 52 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:18,342 Good shared meat. 53 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:20,748 There will be no foofy desserts. 54 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,344 There will be no giant soap bubble guns. 55 00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:25,821 There will be no adult men in costumes. 56 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:30,524 And most of all, there will be no (BLEEP) vegetables. 57 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,893 Well, Ron, can we at least have corn on the cob? 58 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:36,957 No. 59 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,462 LESLIE: "In this temple, as in the hearts of the people, 60 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,564 "for whom he saved the Union, 61 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,701 "the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever." 62 00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,073 Andy, what are you doing? 63 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,247 Have you ever seen any of the National Treasure movies? 64 00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:51,475 Everything in this city is a clue. 65 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,040 Nothing in that movie is accurate. 66 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,983 A-ha! A clue. Check it out. 67 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,282 I think that's just gum. 68 00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:00,119 How do I know this isn't a treasure map 69 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,215 just waiting to be unfurled? 70 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:02,919 Because it's gum. 71 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:05,158 That's gum. Yeah. 72 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,721 So, you can see that the color changes about a third of the way up, 73 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,960 and it's when construction was actually halted on the monument. 74 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,696 Leslie, this is a really cool penis 75 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,032 but Ben and April are meeting us 76 00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,594 at the Smithsonian in 10 minutes. 77 00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,004 Let's talk on the way. 78 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:17,837 1776. A nation was born. 79 00:03:17,897 --> 00:03:18,932 ANDY: Which nation? 80 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,340 CHRIS: I offered Ron a job last month, and he turned me down. 81 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:26,009 And it literally broke my heart. 82 00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:29,383 But now, I see that this is truly where he belongs. 83 00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:31,712 Way to be, Ron! 84 00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:34,648 You're really getting it done, man! 85 00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,154 He can't hear me. 86 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,230 Okay, let's begin the barbecue. 87 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,856 Hey, little guy. What are you doing? 88 00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:43,093 Oh, no. 89 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:45,363 Everyone? Meet your meat. 90 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:46,961 No. No. 91 00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,937 Ron. Why are you doing this to us? 92 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,565 Well, in my opinion, not enough people 93 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,234 have looked their dinner in the eyes 94 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,141 and considered the circle of life. 95 00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:57,147 This is your dinner. His name is Tom. 96 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:58,511 (LAUGHS) 97 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,209 Burn. Seriously? 98 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:02,275 No, I understand that it's hilarious. 99 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,322 But that is his given Christian name. 100 00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,755 Tom is very smart and incredibly loyal. 101 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,349 He's basically a dog. 102 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,792 A dog we're going to cook, chew, and swallow. 103 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,694 Dude, there's kids around here. RON: Good point. 104 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,699 Which one of you youngsters wants to help me 105 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,359 drain the blood from this animal? 106 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,198 If you do a good job, I'll give you the bladder. 107 00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,135 You can blow it up for a fun play ball. 108 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,328 Hey, Ron. 109 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:24,397 You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you? 110 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,705 Not to worry. I have a permit. 111 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,081 This just says, "I can do what I want." 112 00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:35,051 lam the director of the Parks Department and this is a park. 113 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,348 It's not a Parks thing. 114 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,754 It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes. 115 00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:43,085 Fine. 116 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,062 Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up 117 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,689 some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. 118 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:49,495 Let's go, Tom. 119 00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,330 No. Pig Tom. 120 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:52,936 (SNIGGERING) 121 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,732 LESLIE: So, I want to see the History of the Girl Scouts, 122 00:04:56,829 --> 00:05:00,709 and then Lincoln's pocket watch and the First Ladies exhibit, 123 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,508 and everything. I want to see everything. 124 00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:04,673 Andy, get down from there. 125 00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,614 Hey, Leslie, is this the train from Back to the Future III? 126 00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:08,243 Get down from there. I think it is. 127 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,720 Hey, buddy. Come on down from there for me, please. 128 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,657 Sir, you protect our nation's history and you're a hero. 129 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,557 Yeah. A hero with something to hide. 130 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,323 Like probably a treasure map. 131 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,227 Ah! Hey! It's so good to see you. Hey! 132 00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,287 Oh... 133 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,258 It's so great to see you, too. Yeah. 134 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,530 Yikes. 135 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,263 LESLIE: Okay. Uh, guys? Let's motor. 136 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,831 Guys. Guys. 137 00:05:30,897 --> 00:05:33,036 Let's go get some astronaut ice cream or something. 138 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,942 We were thinking about maybe just... 139 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,981 Uh, maybe we were going to go back to... 140 00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,310 We were going to have sex. 141 00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,317 Okay. You look great, April. 142 00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:41,818 Sorry, hon. I actually have to go, too. 143 00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,047 No, really? I thought maybe we could sightsee together. 144 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,714 I know. I have, like, a thousand meetings. 145 00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:48,759 But I just wanted to come wish you luck before your presentation. 146 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,294 Oh, but you know what you should see 147 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,727 while you're here is George Washington's... 148 00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,161 Farewell Address Candle Stand. 149 00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:54,926 That was the first thing I was going to see. 150 00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:56,557 God, I love you so much. 151 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,898 Come to my office as soon as you're done. 152 00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:00,198 Okay? Okay, 153 00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:02,739 And it was nice to see you again. 154 00:06:02,795 --> 00:06:04,775 Were you talking to my butt? (LAUGHS) Yes. 155 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,199 Okay. 156 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:09,672 Where is Swanson? 157 00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,909 Ann, I'm hungry and my legs are tired. 158 00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:13,273 (GROANS) 159 00:06:13,339 --> 00:06:15,046 It feels like I just exercised. 160 00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,212 Just sit on the ground. 161 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:17,345 No, Jerry. 162 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,321 It's dirty and I'm wearing my summer linens. 163 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,483 God, you're such a baby. 164 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,082 Look, I brought a picnic blanket from your house. 165 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,957 That's not a picnic blanket. 166 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:26,320 That's a merino wool throw for my Eames chair. 167 00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:27,420 DONNA: Uh-oh. 168 00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,491 Do I sense trouble in the Haverford-Perkins household? 169 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,762 No such luck, Donna. 170 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:35,169 Ann and Tom, A.K.A. Haverkins, is stronger than ever. 171 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,230 Everyone said it wouldn't last. 172 00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:38,798 And it didn't. 173 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:42,671 ANN: Shocking that our drunken plan to move in together wasn't a success. 174 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,045 Let's move in together. (SIGHS) Totally. 175 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,243 No take-backs when we sober up, though, partner. 176 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,217 No take-backs, partner. 177 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:53,056 After the first day, we realized we had made a huge mistake. 178 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,113 Huge! 179 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,820 However, everyone was being so smug about it, 180 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:58,294 saying there was no way it would last. 181 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,331 So, we're pretending to still be together. 182 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:03,060 That way, no one gets the satisfaction of being right. 183 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,465 Even though they are, but still. 184 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:06,697 More importantly, I bet Donna $1,000 185 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,397 that we'd be together for another month. 186 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,065 I can't stress this enough. 187 00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:13,474 If she finds out that we broke up, I'll go bankrupt. 188 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:17,208 Oh, my God. Food. Food. 189 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,244 Yes. I am returned. 190 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,080 No. Not so fast, Shirley. 191 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,586 I just have to thaw the meat, season it, and grill it up. 192 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,179 So, it's going to be a few hours. ALL: Aw! 193 00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:26,621 No, Ron. 194 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,023 My tummy's rumbling. It's scary. 195 00:07:29,081 --> 00:07:30,651 Tommy's got the tum-rums. 196 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,662 Ron? Chris Traeger feelings update. 197 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:35,995 I am now feeling that your guests are getting a little antsy. 198 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,466 Fine. I'll skip a few steps and speed things up. 199 00:07:39,525 --> 00:07:41,630 There you go. ls there at least something to drink? 200 00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:42,934 There's beer in the cooler. 201 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,269 What about for the children? 202 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,173 You can get water from that water fountain 203 00:07:46,232 --> 00:07:47,802 and use it to water down the beer. 204 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,642 Why not just give the kids water? 205 00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,204 I suppose you could do that. 206 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:52,681 Now, would everyone please back off 207 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:54,217 and just let me cook in peace? 208 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,753 These people are soft. 209 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,288 They're grill virgins. 210 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,624 But by the time this day is over, 211 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,523 they will have been taken by the grill 212 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,220 and delicately and tenderly 213 00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:06,729 shown the ways of flavorful meat-love. 214 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:08,955 Mmm. 215 00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:11,698 The first time is so beautiful. 216 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,403 LESLIE: Ben and I are a power couple, 217 00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,337 like the Roosevelts or the Clintons. 218 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:17,999 I've got a big meeting here. 219 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:20,510 Ben is off running a congressional campaign. 220 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:22,842 I mean, the only way we could be more awesome 221 00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:25,143 is if we had our own signature dance move. 222 00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:27,810 Oh, wait. We do. Three, four... 223 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,444 (VOCALIZING) 224 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,150 (DOOR SLAMS) 225 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,221 I'm Leslie Knope. I have a 3:00 with Mr. Jepson. 226 00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:37,454 What's this in reference to? 227 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,962 I'm here to present my application 228 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,089 for the Federal Riverbed Preservation Grant. 229 00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,360 Oh. Most people just mail their applications in. 230 00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,197 (LAUGHS) I'm not most people. 231 00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,362 Well, Mr. Jepson actually had to step out for the day. 232 00:08:47,426 --> 00:08:50,202 You can just add your proposal to that pile there. 233 00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,237 Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. I was told I would have 234 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,779 a face-to-face meeting with him 235 00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:58,008 so I could make my case for my town. 236 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,344 Does he have office hours, or... 237 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:00,941 He's unavailable for the rest of the week. 238 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:03,681 But you can just add the proposal. He'll get to it. 239 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:06,548 Okay. 240 00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:12,254 It's kind of a special application. 241 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:18,499 You know, there's a CD inside that plays the sound of a babbling river. 242 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,869 And I was going to play that while I gave my presentation. 243 00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:23,908 Uh, I was also going to show a DVD 244 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,500 that had some images of frolicking river otters. 245 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,637 You know what? I'll make sure he reads it. 246 00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,771 What city is it for? 247 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:31,575 Pawnee. 248 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,881 Is that Pawnee, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, 249 00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,353 Missouri, Nebraska, Oklahoma, or Texas? 250 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,055 Indiana. Okay. 251 00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,657 This is amazing. Look at this. 252 00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,890 This whole place is your office. 253 00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,728 Nope. This is my office. 254 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,631 Ben, you're fired. It's my office now. 255 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,068 Boom! You heard the boss. Scram, Wyatt. 256 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,468 Hey- Hey- 257 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,528 How did it go? 258 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,040 Um, I think okay. 259 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,404 Yeah? Okay, I think. 260 00:09:58,464 --> 00:10:00,603 Well, I have a surprise for you. 261 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:04,705 There's a swanky D.C. cocktail party at The Hay-Adams. 262 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,977 And I got us all on the list. 263 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,210 Wow, look at you. You're a big shot. 264 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,383 ANDY: Hey, Benjamin. How fancy is this party tonight? 265 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,052 I mean, is it, like, a shorts or a pants kind of gala? 266 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,526 Pants. ANDY: Great. 267 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,326 Could we just real quick stop at the nearest place that has free pants? 268 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:27,230 I know that Ron doesn't want us to eat anything before the meat, 269 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,465 but I smuggled in some candy. 270 00:10:28,527 --> 00:10:29,938 Oh, thank God. I'm starving. 271 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:31,833 Raisins? 272 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,370 It's nature's candy. 273 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:37,209 Now, they're basically grapes, so remember to pace yourself. 274 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,508 I can't even follow my own advice. They're so delicious. 275 00:10:44,176 --> 00:10:47,157 Oh, my God. Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent? 276 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,625 Oh, Yeah. I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. 277 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,122 That one is called "SparkleSuds. Dress Loud." 278 00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:55,187 Tom, will you stop putting glitter in everything? 279 00:10:55,254 --> 00:10:56,631 This morning, you put glitter in the butter. 280 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:58,532 "Disco Dairy. Spread the Party." 281 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,798 No, that's not a good idea. That's terrible. 282 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,568 Well, the target demographic isn't angry, middle-aged nurses. 283 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:04,937 Oh, you know what? Shh. Stop it. 284 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,635 Hey- Hey- 285 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,077 I'm going to get in line for some food. Y'all want anything? 286 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,478 We're good. We're really good. 287 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,345 No, just spending a little time with my baby girl. 288 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:13,806 Ew. 289 00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:15,747 Get off me. 290 00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:17,949 (LAUGHING) 291 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:20,047 ANDY: There's so much free food at this party, honey. 292 00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,523 I love politics. 293 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,685 Look. I made a shrimp claw. 294 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:25,228 I'm really proud of you, babe. 295 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:26,524 Now, put your used plate in my purse. 296 00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:27,723 I almost have a complete set. 297 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,425 Really? Oh, my God. You're so smart. 298 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:31,196 KATE: They say it will pass, 299 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,999 but we'll only get $400 million instead of $900. 300 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,839 Kate works at the Pentagon, 301 00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:38,307 and Lacey works for Eric Cantor. 302 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,468 What do you do, Leslie? 303 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,240 I was just recently elected. I'm a councilwoman. 304 00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,076 Local government is so important. 305 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,446 My grandma is on the city council in her town. 306 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,007 It gives her a reason to leave the house. 307 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,144 Oh... 308 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,987 Where did you say you were from? 309 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,249 It's called Pawnee. 310 00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:53,517 Pawnee, Missouri? 311 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:56,025 Oh, my. That is so random. 312 00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:58,358 I've been there. It's totally cute. 313 00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,988 Pawnee, Indiana. Pawnee, Missouri, is a total crap-hole. 314 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:05,025 Ben and I both did some amazing things today. 315 00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:08,436 He scored a victory for the congressional campaign he's working on. 316 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:13,204 And I was mistaken for Beverly D'Angelo by a Japanese tourist. 317 00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:16,735 So, pretty big day for both of us. 318 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,816 Ron, can I have a burger? I'm hungry. 319 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:22,875 For the last time no burgers yet. 320 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:24,888 I've got ribs and I've got beef cheek. 321 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,515 Ron, where are my vegan soy patties? 322 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,355 I gave them to the kids. They love them. 323 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,723 They're skipping them across the pond. 324 00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,653 Donna, I've got to go to the boys' room. 325 00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:34,698 Can I have a ride in your car? Absolutely not. 326 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,062 This barbecue stinks. 327 00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,692 I'm saying it. It stinks. 328 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,293 Do you have any plates or anything? 329 00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,894 I mean, how are we supposed to eat these rumps? 330 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,735 Ron, if no one takes me to the bathroom, 331 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,103 I'm just going to have to go in the trees. 332 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,700 All right. Forget it. 333 00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:49,504 You have ruined a perfectly good barbecue 334 00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,844 with your demands and chatter. 335 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,114 Enjoy the rest of your evening. 336 00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,358 (TIRES SCREECHING) 337 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,997 Does anybody feel like they can't breathe? 338 00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:10,192 I think I need some fresh air. 339 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,428 We're outside. 340 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,696 God, these women. 341 00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:15,329 They're so smart and accomplished and pretty. 342 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:18,532 And they're tall. Why are they all so tall? 343 00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:21,601 It's like C-SPAN and Neiman Marcus had kids or something. 344 00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,874 Hey. So, there's a couple more people I want you to meet. 345 00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:26,348 Oh, great. I can't wait to meet, like, five more tall women. 346 00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:28,274 BEN: Excuse me, Senators? 347 00:13:28,340 --> 00:13:30,479 Ben Wyatt, from Congressman Murray's campaign? 348 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,545 Ben, I remember you from the Kennedy Center. 349 00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:35,182 That's right. I wanted to introduce my friend, Leslie Knope. 350 00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:37,921 Senators Barbara Boxer and Olympia Snowe. 351 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,656 Pleasure to meet you. How do you do? 352 00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:40,992 So, Leslie, what do you do? 353 00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:44,227 I am a city councilwoman from Pawnee, Indiana. 354 00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,696 But you've probably never heard of us. 355 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:46,828 We're small and unimportant. 356 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,703 I'm sure that's not true. 357 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,037 But it is. We've got tons of problems. 358 00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,975 We're overrun with raccoons and obese toddlers. 359 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,410 Anyway, I'm probably boring you. 360 00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:58,778 I just wanted to say that you are my role models 361 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,819 and you are incredibly amazing women, 362 00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,114 and it is an honor to meet you, 363 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,781 and I really respect your grace under pressure. 364 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,984 And thank you for your time. 365 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,625 Excuse me, Senators. 366 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,032 Uh, Leslie? 367 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,195 Hello? 368 00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:20,936 What's going on? Nothing. (SIGHS) 369 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,668 I'm just tired. Okay? 370 00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,799 I saw 24 historical sites in a day. 371 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,777 And it's 120 degrees out with 200% humidity, 372 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,403 because this is a stupid swamp town. 373 00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:30,913 Okay. That would make anyone cranky. 374 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:32,879 I'm not cranky. Okay. 375 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,976 I thought you'd enjoy meeting numbers 4 and 26 376 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,748 on Leslie's List of Amazing Women. 377 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:39,289 I do. I did. 378 00:14:40,045 --> 00:14:42,184 You're the most amazing boyfriend ever. 379 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:43,693 And if you don't get out of here soon, 380 00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:44,955 I'm going to punch you in the face. 381 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,895 Journal needs a quote for the profile. 382 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:49,421 (sums) 383 00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,325 It's fine. Just go. 384 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,869 I'll see you at your apartment later. 385 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,234 This is Ben Wyatt. 386 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:02,475 Excuse me. I just need to get my coat here. 387 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,138 Could you give me a minute here, please? 388 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,513 Are you okay? Can I get you anything? 389 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,779 I would like you to just leave 390 00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:10,821 and give me a little privacy here, please. 391 00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:12,014 All right. I'm sorry. 392 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,954 I hope everything's okay. 393 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:15,715 (sums) 394 00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:18,887 Nosy people have no respect for personal space. 395 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,435 Ann. What the hell? 396 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,628 (LAUGHS) 397 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,036 I put glitter in all your moisturizers and lotions. 398 00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:31,438 I'm calling it "SparkleSkin by Annie. 399 00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,874 "Twinkle, Twinkle, Big Star." Ann. 400 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,606 That is an amazing idea, and I will buy it from you. 401 00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:37,703 But never do that again. 402 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,147 That was really expensive moisturizer. 403 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:41,214 Yeah, well, you ruined all of my clothes. 404 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,685 Well, then, I did you a huge favor, because they stink. 405 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,312 Are you serious? Yes. 406 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:46,879 Oh, hello, lovers. 407 00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,990 Tom. You're amazing. 408 00:15:50,816 --> 00:15:51,954 Kiss me more. 409 00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:53,962 Uh-huh. All right. Enough of this. 410 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,760 Y'all broke up a long time ago, didn't you? TOM: No. 411 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:57,825 We're stronger than ever. So... 412 00:15:57,890 --> 00:16:00,496 It's all right. I'm going to let y'all have this one. 413 00:16:00,559 --> 00:16:03,699 As someone who has lied a lot about various aspects 414 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,332 of a myriad of relationships, 415 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,336 I respect the effort you've gone to. 416 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:08,901 Let's call off the bet. 417 00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:10,202 Thanks, Donna. 418 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,473 No problem. 419 00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,006 I guess that's it. Yep. 420 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:15,879 The end of a relationship, 421 00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,419 and the beginning of a partnership. 422 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,717 Let's talk sparkles kin. 423 00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:22,452 Do we know anyone in Product Development over at Sephora? 424 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:23,993 Goodbye, Tom. 425 00:16:24,350 --> 00:16:27,092 Here's a picture of me and April making out in her apartment. 426 00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:30,827 Here's a picture of us making out in Ben's office. 427 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:33,267 This is a picture of... This is us making out... 428 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,861 I don't know where that is, but you can tell that 429 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,031 she's sucking on my lip. 430 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:37,266 (LAUGHS) 431 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:38,972 Traveling. 432 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:40,571 Making out... You okay, boss? 433 00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:42,077 No, not really. 434 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,210 I know I should be focusing on this river cleanup, 435 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:45,873 but all I keep thinking about is Ben 436 00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,145 laughing in a helicopter with Hot Rebecca. 437 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,347 Who's Hot Rebecca? (SIGHS) 438 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,946 She's just this jealousy amalgam I created. 439 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,756 I combined all of the giant, dark-haired 440 00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:58,385 smartphone power Goddesses 441 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,794 into one woman called Hot Rebecca. Oh. 442 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,258 I mean, Ben's life is filled with Senators 443 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:04,995 and briefings and Super PACs. 444 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:08,034 I can't even get a meeting with some bureaucrat. 445 00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:10,505 (LAUGHS) I don't know what a bureaucrat is. Yeah. 446 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:13,668 Everything is going to be fine with you and Ben 447 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:18,181 because if I know Ben, he, too, is an amalgam. 448 00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,272 No. Yeah. 449 00:17:19,338 --> 00:17:22,148 Point is you're better than Hot Rebecca. 450 00:17:22,674 --> 00:17:23,744 You're Kickass Leslie. 451 00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,783 Long distance relationships are never easy, 452 00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,416 but you never, ever give up on stuff. 453 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,456 (SIGHS) Thanks. 454 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,655 That's what makes you... 455 00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,454 Nope. ...an amalgam. 456 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,863 Nailed it. 457 00:17:37,356 --> 00:17:38,767 Ron, award'? 458 00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,192 Mmm. 459 00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:42,601 Are you aware of what's going on out in your department? 460 00:17:42,661 --> 00:17:43,662 I am. 461 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,767 My department is pouting because I didn't put on a puppet show 462 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,506 based on the funniest email chain of the year. 463 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,979 I would have liked to have seen that show. 464 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:53,312 My nomination was "Jerry accidentally 465 00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,875 "forwards his bank statement to everyone." 466 00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:58,945 (LAUGHS) Classic. And depressing. 467 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:03,255 The point of a barbecue is not to do hokey office-joke theater. 468 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:04,954 The point is... 469 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,861 The point of the barbecue was to thank the department. 470 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,491 It was an Employee Appreciation barbecue. 471 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:12,963 Ron, I gave you the chance 472 00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,096 to become Assistant City Manager, 473 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,300 and you chose to stay here, which is fine. 474 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,570 But if you're going to lead the department, 475 00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:23,169 you occasionally have to lead the department. 476 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:26,549 And I say that as one of your closest colleagues 477 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,913 and dearest friends. 478 00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,113 But also as your boss. 479 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:33,745 (DOOR CLOSES) 480 00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:36,623 I went to our nation's capital this weekend 481 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,630 in order to apply for a federal grant to clean up our city's river. 482 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:43,428 But things move pretty slow in Washington, 483 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,900 and I'm not going to wait around. 484 00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:47,528 And I was recently reminded by someone 485 00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,334 that I'm not the type of person 486 00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,340 to shy away from hard work. 487 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,103 (CAMERA CLICKING) 488 00:18:53,265 --> 00:18:55,768 What? Did I... Do you need something from me right now? 489 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,177 No. No. Never mind. 490 00:18:57,236 --> 00:19:00,615 Point is I'm going to clean up this river by myself. 491 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:04,213 Every Saturday from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m., I will be here. 492 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,554 Those are my office hours. 493 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:07,955 If you want to come and talk to me 494 00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,822 or ask me questions or raise an issue, 495 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,293 this is where I'll be. 496 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,525 Let's get to work, Pawnee. 497 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,092 Oh, my God. The smell is so much worse when you get up close. 498 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,728 Yeah. Oh! Look. A handgun! 499 00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:20,997 I call it! Holy... 500 00:19:21,059 --> 00:19:22,163 Whoa! 501 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,141 Everyone, get in here now! 502 00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:30,435 Your work is appreciated. 503 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:31,879 Eat some corn. 504 00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:33,473 ANN: Thanks, Ron. Thank you, Ron. 505 00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:34,677 TOM: Thanks, Ron. Thanks, Ron. 506 00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,378 Also, here's Tom. 507 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,386 Ah! 508 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,247 It actually smells really delicious. 509 00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:43,622 It really does. 510 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,455 Give me some of Tommy's ribs. JERRY: Oh, heck, yeah. 511 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,690 ANN: Sorry, Tom. 512 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,232 DONNA: Oh, my God. TOM: That's good. 513 00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:52,864 I mean, if I had known it didn't go well with the guy from Interior... 514 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,802 No, no, no. You did nothing wrong. 515 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,534 I am so happy for you, and how much everyone loves you 516 00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,598 and how great you're doing. 517 00:19:59,665 --> 00:20:01,804 I just freaked out. I'm sorry. 518 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:02,937 Long distance sucks. 519 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,674 It does. But we can do this, right? 520 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,176 Yeah, definitely. 521 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:09,751 Can you come visit next month? 522 00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:11,617 We can take a proper tour of the sights. 523 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,582 There's only one sight I want to see right now. 524 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:18,788 All right. I mean, this is getting weird. But, there it is. 525 00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:21,821 I meant the Jefferson Memorial, you perv! 526 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,733 Right. Sorry. Sorry. I don't... I'm just... 527 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,231 Wait. No, you didn't. 528 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,772 No, I didn't. 529 00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,966 (LAUGHS) Spin it around and back it on up. 530 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,202 All right. 531 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,547 The White House, America's most whitest house. 532 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,510 Most notably is where Sinbad lived in the film, First Kid. 533 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:42,950 Sinbad. Wow. 534 00:20:43,008 --> 00:20:45,614 The other tour guide never said anything about that. 535 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:48,521 Do you know why it's called the Oval Office? 536 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,991 No. Because of a man. 537 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,027 Oval Redenbacher. 538 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,563 What? The popcorn inventor. 539 00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,565 He used to hang out with John F. Kennedy. 540 00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,692 Excuse me. Attention, everyone! 541 00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,258 This tour guide is the most amazing 542 00:20:59,324 --> 00:21:00,826 tour guide there ever was. 543 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,735 Please. Step up. 544 00:21:03,295 --> 00:21:05,036 $200 cash up front.